While I was reading your post I couldn't help but think "this could be my OH", "this could be me in a few years". I’m a control freak. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 3 years. We now have more than $20,000 in credit card debt. Try their tricks on your spouse to lighten your mental load and help out more. “They make him feel successful. I decided to move there. I’m going anonymous to answer this question because I’m one of the affected. My husband is an adult. I've got 2 children aged 12 & 14 and married to a man who is very controlling and expects me and the children to conform to his every whim. When your husband doesn't care about your feelings, what it means is that he doesn't love you as before or even a little bit anymore. Hi my husband cut me off financially and makes me just use my own credit cards. When our relationship was being finalised by our elders, his parents showed us that their son who will come down from UK has enough to support himself and family. He is going to pay 1/3 of the bills. Salam, My husband and I are married for over 5 years and i have a two year old beautiful son. So, how do improve the situation? My husband doesn’t do anything but clean house and workout. Will I still stick with my husband eventhough he doesn't provide me financially as he promised? Make lists. He no longer believes that he has the skill or desire to go through with his original career plans, and still has student debt he must pay off before ever going back to college. He gives me £10 here and there for petrol and groceries but that doesn't stretch far. But his parents are against helping my mom and enabling her. I hate cleaning and laundry but I don’t want anyone else to clean the house because it isn’t good enough for me. But my husband and I decided this path for numerous reasons, the #1 reason being that child care is too Damon expensive where I live, and my whole paycheck would be going to a child care center. He doesn’t have health insurance and only gets physical treatment because his doctor helps him with costs. "My husband is a student and a 'house husband'. Nothing motivates him to work. I have communicated with him several times of how much money I need weekly to cover expenditures but he doesn't give me anything close to what's needed. Anon (2365442) Posted on 21-01-2018 at 7.49PM . Q: My husband and I have been together for almost four years. So I would not be able to financially contribute to the household anyway. I don’t want my husband to do the cleaning, I just hate that it’s expected that I do it. What's the Problem? My father passed away last March and in his will he left me his home in another part of the country. My husband is financially irresponsible and it’s causing arguments! So I have a question ladies. I decided then that I would never ask my husband to help me out again — unless he’s really doing me a favor, like killing a ginormous bug that was obviously sent straight from hell to assassinate me. Anyway, I am the one who has to take care of things financially with just about no help from my husband. When I go through slow times in my business he doesn’t offer to help. it's like he needs their approval for everything. Ashish Mehta. My husband feels bad and she has been going through this ever since we met and I left my mom on her own (with my then underage sister). My husband has always been supportive of me no matter what I do but my first husband was a lot like yours, it was all about the money. I lost my job and I was getting unemployment, the payments stopped in August. My husband always says he loves me but I wonder why whenever I don't do exactly what he wants or talk in a way he doesn't like, he starts insulting me by using words like 'stupid,idiot,dull, stone hearted,wicked,etc' I tried talking to him about it,he never listened instead he continued with his rantings. Boyfriend stays at my house but doesn't contribute financially or help out! My husband and I married in 2016 and we are already struggling financially in our marriage. My husband does not support me financially. We all want our husbands to help out more without having to nag them. My husband hardly contributes to financially support us. To help us with this, please give us some positive feedback about what we’ve done. It's as simple as that. 4. He has 600 dollars. That’s when I said it. He is the bread winner and I stay at home and take care if the kids. I have 4 children, he has one older son. But, I'm with you, Mimi - I'm not sure I could accept financial help from a man who wasn't my husband or fiance, especially someone with whom my future was unsure. Before we got married, I had great credit, no debt, and few bills. He keeps all his wages for himself and doesn't even help with the children! You must check if he is taking advantage of extra marital affair. There hasn’t been adequate communication for them to know they’re expected to In his case, though, collectors were banging down the door and he was about to be evicted. And … What should I do? Hi everyone, I wanted to ask your advice please. Then he set the toddler in the living room and went to the cupboard to get himself a snack (yes, you read that correctly. We don't live together, he has his own place, but he stays at my house 6 nights a week. Unfortunately, after ten years, it's doubtful he'll change, no matter how much you beg him to. I end up nagging or doing it all and feeling angry. Your feelings represent your state of mind at any point in time and anyone that doesn't care about them doesn't care about you; it doesn't matter if such one is your husband. There lies my problem. Wow! If you put up with this, you're mad. He is literally wrapped around their finger and will listen to them over me. He earns a good salary as do I. my husband and i have 2 separate accounts we both work full time my husband makes more than I do plus rec. I’m tired of being nice and not saying anything. My husband and toddler came back up from the basement, and my husband took off the toddler’s jacket and sneakers and set them on the kitchen table. The story in her head is that she is alone to pay for and do everything… there is a focus on everything he doesn’t pay or do rather than what he does pay or does do. I ask for help, thank him when he does help, don't complain about how anything is done, make lists to help him remember, ask what he would like to do, etc but nothing sticks. We are having problems. My Husband Uses Me Financially. It doesn’t matter if my husband is spending $50 or $5,000, what matters is are we in agreement in principle of what he is buying or spending on. - Mary Personally, I don't think she should ask him for funds because at girlfriend status he is not obligated to help her. He is trying to get out of his responsibility. Filed on September 24, 2017 | Last updated on September 24, 2017 at 08.17 am Know your legal rights in the UAE. Jump to Latest Follow Status Not open for further replies. He has worked at this same place for 8 years. We both love the arrangement as it suits our personalities (I'm more career-driven, he is quite laid back and caring). He makes me smile on a daily basis and I love this guy. He's a good man, but lately I feel he's dragging me down with him. I don’t want anyone else to do the laundry because they could ruin the clothes. We’ve been married for 31 years and I’ve had enough. Posted by baz • April 6, 2012 • Printer-friendly. For example my husband loves tech gadgets, just the other day he came and sat next to me and said I need $130 to buy a new hard drive. Unless we completely miss the mark, give us a "thank you", and how happy you are that we did it. we have only 1 child and he pays only for school transport and i pays a school fees, i only … He only asks me when I’m going to have more money. But lately, he has a lot of alibis that I am beginning to doubt him … He is alcoholic with bipolar disorder mental decease. My husband told me to stay home because he will be the one to provide for the family. How dare him? As a woman, you need to be wary of a heartless husband. He’s content with me making the living. I have to pay all the bills. Here’s why: It diminishes his value. Francis. 1. The story in his head is that he contributes financially to his kids, and her ex husband contributes to her kids, so there is a “karmic balance”. Even maintenance of the car, MOT and servicing I have to fork out. My husband doesn't help me financially! Let me start by saying that we get along great for the most part. Reply. Let's explore a few of the most common problems and solutions. It doesn’t help matters if your spouse thinks you are nagging or hounding them about money all the time, and you don't want to let your finances ruin your marriage. That's not fair. We enjoy the other’s company and doing things together like gardening, home improvements, cooking, vacationing, etc. Tagged as: Marriage problems << Previous question Next question >> Question - (16 May 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2011) A female age 36-40, anonymous writes: hi my husband doesnt help me financially, im unemployed and its my last year at varsity. Everything we own is in my name. You must look after his behavior, if something is wrong. To start, it helps to get to the root of what’s causing the money tension. He has a job and isnt making enough money to support the family! Show him what you are worth on paper according to what you do and then look for ways to save money. My wife is a typical nagging wife, who would go on for hours to prove her point. He is a fully functioning human. He sees himself as perfect,never wrong. Dude, help your parents but don’t reveal to your wife. He was getting himself, not the toddler, a snack). He either doesn't see what needs to be done, has a reason why he can't help, or is distracted so he forgets or ignores me. My husband doesnt want to support me financially,because i have a job,is it normal? I have been walking around with no cash for almost 6 months and I am sick of it. But the wives below have found success with getting their husbands to do what needs to be done—without asking (more than that first time, anyway). My husband does not completely support me financially. I have to little ones 6 and 4. 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